I thought I'd be coming home. Not so much to fanfare and strewn rosepetals, fanatical friends throwing themselves at my feet, but at least to a little strength of purpose and direction. The singing blood in my veins heralding a grand idea of the Future. A supreme vision projected onto the white ceiling of my life. A new look of determination in my eye - and renewed respect in the eyes of others. Instead I seem to be floundering (goldfishing? for some reason flounder strikes me as a little...